There’s no point trying to change him/her


I once dated someone I had no business being with. He was everything I didn’t want, but I was lonely, and he was available, it was a rebound relationship that had a longer shelf life than I had prepared for. I tried to end it, but he just won’t budge, so I tried to change him – BIG mistake. I changed instead.

I became depressed, I was frustrated, I felt shackled, restricted, and less than myself. Then it hit me! I can’t change this person and I do have a choice! I don’t have to be here. I realised that I wasn’t actually ready to be in the relationship. If I wasn’t sure enough of who I was, how could I have changed someone else? But then how could I be myself if I didn’t know who I was?

Even in platonic relationships, there’s the temptation to mould others to be what we want them to be – it’s frustrating and exhausting, and in a way a form of abuse. I’ve learnt to take people the way they are. The last time I had a problem with my bread maker, I went straight to the manual to find out what I was doing wrong, when I couldn’t’ figure it out, I considered taking it back to the manufacturer. Dare I say the same rule applies. When people act broken, refer to their user manual – the Bible… when in doubt of how best to address them (usually with love and humility) refer back to their manufacturer – God. He alone can touch the heart, he alone can transform a life.

I know now not to be frustrated, mindful that I’ve been a pain to someone else who’s endured me, firstly Christ and no doubt my long-suffering family members to name a few. God is the potter and we are the clay, we get better as we keep our hearts and minds malleable in his hands, ready for transformation into that finished product, created with a purpose.

Two days to go! Come joins us at the LWC youth ministry workshop;
Let’s Talk about: Finding Bae

Where: 1 Staffa Road, Leyton, London, E10 7PY

Time: 5-9pm

Date: 26th September 2015

for more information email
Twitter: @time2talkabout
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